Patch and Savanna both grew up in the Hutt; Savanna has recently escaped whilst Patch is still stranded there. They are both excellent comedians who occasionally make reference to their (slightly) bogan upbringing and nature. They also both have shows in the New Zealand International Comedy Festival which are must sees.
I caught up with them to chat about their shows, bogan life and a few other things:
Savanna you have recently moved away from the Hutt – what prompted the move?
Mainly because all my family lives there (in Upper Hutt).
Patch why are you still there?
Because Savanna didn’t offer me a lift.
So do you actually consider yourself a bogan?
Savanna: I don’t consider myself bogan, however my upbring, style and lack of shame would suggest otherwise.
Patch: People have always just told me I’m a bogan… I guess it’s the flannel shirts, the hair, the voice, the face… Definitely the music though, I’m a heavy metal guy… grunge, anything alternative from the 80s and 90s. I’m an angsty little soul all wrapped up in a happy exterior.
What is the most bogan thing you have ever done?
Patch: Moved to Upper Hutt.
Savanna: Myself and Patch once got in a fight – of spit, not fists.
Speaking of fights – who would win in a fight between the 2 of you?
Savanna: Neither of us, it’d just be sad (like the previously mentioned spit fight)
Patch: I reckon if Savannah was like 8 years old… and I was the age I am now, 24… and i had a cricket bat or something… probably me
Do you have a favourite memory of the Hutt growing up?
Savanna:The smell of burning firewood at dusk, the sound of crickets, the dense trees on the hills surrounding, and my friends huffing Cool Charm to get high.
Patch: When I was a teenager there was this place by a stream not far from where I lived. You jumped over the water and ended up in this trippy place that was like a condensed maze made entirely of bamboo. We spent hours there just chilling out and exploring it… It felt like it was our own little clubhouse even though it was on someone else’s property. I was wearing some camo shorts one afternoon and this chick made fun of me for wearing them, which pissed me off cause I didn’t think anyone could see me.
Most importantly – pineapple on pizza? Yes or no?
Savanna: 1,000% yes
Patch: Every day. How many fucken parties have I gone to where pizza has been put on the cards and some dickheads like “aw let’s just get ham and cheese cause I don’t like pineapple”. Just grow up, pick it off and stop ruining my life.
And last but not least – there are a lot of shows on over the 3 weeks; what makes your show special?
Savanna: The audience! I want everyone to get really drunk so we can all ugly laugh really hard with no regrets. I’ll be talking about the Hutt vs living in town and ranting about people I despise in my day to day life, all whilst sharing my biggest flaws with the crowd. Lucy will probably say a variety of things, all of which will be very shocking. Have a late dinner, come have a drink and watch a show that has been crafted to be exactly what you want at 10pm.
Patch: I’m gonna be wearing a different flannel shirt every night, and talking about a pterodactyl that used to live in my house when i was kid. It’s also going to feature a shark I made out of Lego, who’s name is Leggo, but you’ll need to come to the show to find out why. Essentially Suburban Kiwi Icon is a raw, honest and uncompromising look at my life, there’s been a lot of ups and downs that have happened in my life recently – so parts of the show are about me dealing with all those shitty times with humor.
Patch Lamberts show Suburban Kiwi Icon runs from 4 -7 May, 10pm at Fringe Bar. More details and tickets here : http://www.comedyfestival.co.nz/find-a-show/patch-lambert/…… but you’ve missed it now – check out the review here.
Savanna Caltons show with Lucy Roche, These Two Women Open Their Mouths… runs from 11-14 May, 10pm at Cavern Club. More details and tickets here: http://www.comedyfestival.co.nz/find-a-show/lucy-roche-and-savanna-calton/
**Originally published for Art Murmurs on 4/5/2016